Essay Lessons from a Rock Dad

Today, we'll be discussing The Secret Life of a Rock Dad by Clay Tarver.

Phil's Take

The Best Writing Comes from Shame

Essayist and short story author Steve Almond writes, “Most writers, at a basic level, are trying to wring some beauty from the neck of shame.” The beauty comes from attempting to unravel and understand those complicated feelings through a story. In The Secret Life of a Rock Dad, Clay Tarver, in the guise of a story, unravels the conflicted feelings he has about his rocker past.

Initially it seems as if the primary conflict in Tarver’s essay is telling his children about his other life as a guitarist for the band Chavez. He has noble intentions, declaring that he doesn’t want to be “one of those parents” who force their kids to like what they like. Who hasn’t judged parents who dress their kids in jerseys of their favorite sports teams or sweatshirts from colleges they attended or even worse didn’t attend? Tarver even repurposes his therapist’s words “nothing has a stronger influence on their children than the unlived life of the parents” to justify his secret-keeping. But these are just excuses.

External Want v. Internal Need

Tarver in real life works as a screenwriter, and he employs a common screenwriting technique that juxtaposes external want versus internal need. Superficially, Tarver wants to figure out how to tell his kids about his rock life. But his deeper need is coming to terms with his past and figuring out his identity as a musician and a dad. The turning point of the essay arrives with the eloquent sentence: “That’s when I realized I’m an idiot.” After all the arguments with his wife, the surreptitious Vegas gigs and the therapy, Carver finally owns up to the truth that he’s a “conflicted mess” about his past, and that’s why he doesn’t tell his kids.

No Neat Resolution

The problem of telling his kids about his alter ego is humorously resolved by the end of the essay, but Tarver’s transformation is still a work in progress. Real life rarely includes neat resolutions and neither do effective essays. Tarver’s therapy doesn’t come from visiting the shrink but from writing. The fact that Tarver doesn’t have it all figured out by the end makes the essay more relatable and fun.

Phil

Jon's Take

I'm having trouble matching Phil's level of insight. Let me focus on some of the stylistic elements I think you can borrow from Rock Dad for your essay.

"What's this article about?" I wondered. I had never heard of Chavez. "Did you even read it?" Phil asked me. He knew I had not gotten to it yet. There was nothing I could say. That's when I realized I had to do my homework if I wanted to avoid asking dumb questions.

I see three simple techniques you can adapt:

1. Open with dialogue. Dialogue brings your reader into a specific setting. Too often, I see students writing about activities without getting into the who, what, when, why, or where. Without these details, the essay can and often does sound as if anyone could have written it. Dialogue forces you to bring the reader into a specific time and place. Those details help distinguish you.
2. Think about sentence length. If you read the article closely, you'll notice that Tarver relies on short, declarative sentences. It's more Hemingway than Faulkner. He writes one thing. And then he writes another. And another. This is not the "right" style, but it is a clear style. The reader never gets lost in a thicket of long, confusing sentences.
3. Save the realization for the end. If Tarver were being "efficient," then he would lead with his big realization about being an idiot. But this is a story, not a research abstract. If the writer engages us, we'll gladly sacrifice some efficiency. Let your story build, and then hit the reader with your realization at the end.

Jon

Jon Perkins holds a B.A. in English from Stanford University and a J.D. from Harvard Law School. He helps students with their college, law school, and medical school applications.

Why Your Essay Needs Beach Balls

McDonald's Beach Balls

Last week, I watched this commercial on mute. So what? You don't need a critical eye to see that there are two things going on here.

Thing #1: Images

First, there is the image of the beach balls. In a train station somehow occupied only by attractive youths, boredom reigns until someone sips a McDonald's sugar drink, causing beach balls to drop from the ceiling, like confetti over a convention. In describing its drink, McDonald's didn't just settle for an adjective like fun. Instead, it converted that adjective into an image: beach balls. You can use the same technique. If you have an adjective in mind, ask yourself what image from your experience might communicate that adjective.

Thing #2: Comparisons

Second, there is the comparison: drinking a McDonald's sugar drink is as relaxing as playing with beach balls. Once in a while, we do stumble across a great adjective. But let's not stop there. Let's expand that adjective into a comparison. McDonald's sugar drinks are not just refreshing; they are as refreshing as playing with beach balls. "As," "like," and "than" can unlock your comparisons.

Tying it Together

Images = beach balls Comparisons = beach balls Images + comparisons = better writing. Therefore: beach balls = better writing. You know it. Don't forget the beach balls!

Good luck writing!

Jon

Jon Perkins holds a B.A. in English from Stanford University and a J.D. from Harvard Law School. He helps students with their college, law school, and medical school applications.

3 Ways to Find an Essay Topic

Panic! OK, now stop.

It's almost October, which means you might be getting bogged down trying to start your essays. To help jump start your writing, I'm sharing 3 exercises I use to help my students figure out what to write. All these exercises aim to help you answer that annoying but essential question: "Who am I?"

Exercise #1: Personality Inventory.

1. Download and take the personality inventory (http://digitalcitizen.ca/2011/02/20/free-personality-assessment/).
2. Identify your 4-letter personality type.
3. Download additional info about your personality type (http://digitalcitizen.ca/personality-assessment/).
4. Find 3 sentences from the description that resonate with you.
5. For each sentence, identify a specific moment in high school where you lived up to the description

Exercise #2: Values.

1. Print out the list of values (http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles/list-of-values.htm).
2. Take 10 minutes to identify the 10 values that matter most to you.
3. Take 2 minutes to narrow the list to 3 values.
4. For each of these 3 values, identify a specific moment in high school where you upheld that value.

Exercise #3: Quick Takes.

1. What’s your strongest trait?
2. What’s your proudest high school moment?
3. What do you do better than most people?
4. How would you describe the world you come from - people, place, or ideas?
5. What’s your biggest high school failure?
6. When do you feel most alive?
7. What’s the greatest compliment someone could pay you?
8. What’s the worst criticism someone could make of you?
9. When have you regretted not asking for help?
10. What’s one thing you would do differently in high school if you had the chance?
11. What’s one rule you always live by?
12. What’s your ideal day?
13. What do you want to be known for?
14. I grew up when...
15. What 5 websites, apps, and/or video games do you enjoy most?

Final Thoughts on Pre-Writing

None of these exercises is original; I've cobbled them all together over time from other sources. But all of these exercises are structured. And when you're totally lost about how to start, structure is good!

Good luck writing!

Jon

Jon Perkins holds a B.A. in English from Stanford University and a J.D. from Harvard Law School. He helps students with their college, law school, and medical school applications.

5 Essay Tips from Sports Talk Radio

Why sports talk radio?

I live in L.A., so I live in my car. On the 110, the 91, and sometimes the 405. Driving in silence sedates me. NPR makes me feel smugly informed, but beyond that, I'm not sure. And I can only sing car karaoke for so long. That leaves me with sports talk radio. Until yesterday, I didn't think sports talk radio had any value other than killing time as I watch cars vie for position. (From what I can tell, the goal is either to gain that one-car length advantage by cutting someone else off or rage at the person who increased your commute time by 5 seconds by cutting you off.) But actually, sports talk radio has a few lessons for anyone trying to write application essays. Here are my favorites:

Lesson #1: Say it in 10 seconds.

One segment I liked from Max and Marcellus is when they give the caller 10 seconds to make his point. Many responses start with a stumble of "Uh, yeah, so I wanted to talk about..." Others meander off into convoluted sentences, never to make their way to the realm of clarity. But occasionally, I'll hear a concise insight that has me nodding in appreciation, like "The best deal the Lakers made was the player they didn't trade: Pau Gasol." Or something like that.

Can you say your essay in 10 seconds? If you can't tell me in 10 seconds what your main point is, guess what? You probably don't have one. Figure it out. You'll need to have an answer in mind for interviews, too, so this question isn't going away.

Lesson #2: Don't say, "Hi, how are you?"

Max hates this, and so do I. The listener doesn't want to hear dozens of callers say the same thing. It's monotonous. Stop wasting time on pleasantries, and get to your comment!

When you open your essay, forget about all the build-up, all the background information of how whatever important moment came about. You just don't have space for that. Get right to the important moment right away, and start your essay there.

Lesson #3: Have a take.

I don't enjoy Jim Rome's self-congratulatory recaps at the end of interviews, but at least he holds his callers to high standards. He's always reminding callers to "have a take." That is, don't just say the same old thing about the same old topic, like how Kobe shoots too much (or how he doesn't shoot too much). Say something we might not know, like why Kelly Slater's a great surfer.

When you're thinking about your topic, ask, "What would most students write about this topic?" The answers that immediately come to mind are probably (not always, but probably) a good clue about what not to write. If it's occurred to you in 2 seconds, it's probably occurred to hundreds of other students in 2 seconds, too. If you want your essay to set you apart, then you want to find an aspect of your topic that's not 2 seconds obvious. That's what it means to have a take.

Lesson #4: Be passionate.

If you've ever listened to Petros and Money, you know Petros (yes, a Peninsula High School graduate) gets fired up about everything, whether it's his USC Trojans, a film fight, or a sleep sheep. This type of enthusiasm evokes two different responses from me. First I feel scorn because someone cares so much about something trivial, and because I'm a jerk. Then scorn yields to respect. Someone who goes all out for something he thinks is important is usually someone I can admire.

When you're writing your essay, convey your passion, like Petros. One of my sisters was making fun of my excitement about writing my essay ebook. She said I should call it a manifesto. I declined (too communist), but the flavor of the word manifesto is exactly right. A manifesto holds ideas worth writing down, arguing over, and fighting for. I'm not sure what the opposite of a manifesto is, but I'm pretty sure we wouldn't react the same way if Marx had entitled his work "The Communist Manual" or "The Communist Syllabus." If your essay doesn't touch on a part of your own personal manifesto, or whatever you call it, then you're wasting your chance.

Lesson #5: Have a consistent message.

ESPN is a message machine. ESPN radio hosts mention articles from the ESPN website, and they interview ESPN TV personalities. I don't know the official lingo for this approach, but ESPN uses each platform (radio, internet, TV) to promote the others, and, more importantly, to promote the ESPN brand.

You should think of each aspect of your application (academic info, activities list, essays, etc.) as a separate platform. Taken together, these platforms should reinforce your message, your description of who you are. Your academic info, like SAT Subject scores might reveal what you enjoy, and you can echo that in your choice of majors and in an intellectual vitality essay. What accomplishments and details you choose to include in your activities list reveal your priorities. And, of course, when all that's done, you should be asking, "What important things haven't I said yet?" Your answer to that question is a great clue about where to go with your essays.

Final Thoughts

Well, if nothing else, I've come up with an after-the-fact justification for listening to sports talk radio. I hope these comments have given you some insight into how to handle your essays. If you're looking for more essay guidance, take the next step:

Good luck writing!

Jon

Jon Perkins holds a B.A. in English from Stanford University and a J.D. from Harvard Law School. He helps students with their college, law school, and medical school applications.

5 Steps to Writing Fewer Essays

Wait, I have to write how many essays?

You've looked at the Common App, and you know the two UC prompts.  The essays don't look too bad.  But now that you're finalizing your college list, you're noticing all the supplemental essay questions.  3 for Stanford, 1 for USC, 2 for Penn, 1 for Cornell, and on and on.  How do you make sure you're writing the fewest essays possible?  I'll tell you how I organize the process.

Step #1:  Gather the prompts.

You can't organize what you don't have.  The first step is to cut and paste the prompts into a single document.  If I'm cutting and pasting the prompts, I take them either directly from the Common App or from the school web site.  I'm not trusting someone else to have gathered the prompts for me.  And when I create my master document, I make sure to label the school and word or character limit.  It's annoying to have to go back a second time to find that information.

Step #2:  Break down the prompts.

Once I have all the prompts, I look at how many components each prompt has, and I split those components up.  For example, consider these prompts:

1. Cornell: "Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study." (500 words)
   • Describe your intellectual interests / evolution / why exciting.
   • Explain how you'll pursue them at Cornell.
2. USC: "Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections." (300 words)
   • Describe your intellectual interests.
   • Describe how you'll pursue them at USC (including major selection, if you want).
3. Stanford: "Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development." (2,000 characters)
   • Describe an idea/experience important to your intellectual development.

Step #3:  Look for overlaps.

The key to reducing your writing burden is identifying overlaps.  The obvious overlap is when different prompts ask you for identical information.  You can see that the Cornell, USC, and Stanford are all asking you to say something about your intellectual interests.  So if you write a paragraph about intellectual interests, you'll be able to recycle that paragraph for all three essays.

Maybe a less obvious overlap is when different prompts ask you for the same type of information.  Both the Cornell and USC prompts ask how you'll pursue your interests at their schools.  Once you write a good paragraph for one of these schools, you can quickly adapt it to the other.  The details will differ depending on what you've seen on the school websites, what you learned from campus visits, and what you discovered from talking to admission reps.  But the structure of both essays will be the same.  So especially for the "Why College X?" prompts, if you can write a great essay for one school, you can easily knock out five more "Why us?" essays for five other schools.

Step #4:  Answer the most specific parts of the prompt.

OK, so I cheated a little when I said the intellectual interest part of the Cornell, USC, and Stanford prompts overlap.  They mostly overlap.  Here's the exact wording:

Cornell:  Intellectual interests, their evolution, why exciting

USC:  Academic interests

Stanford:  Idea/experience important to intellectual development

Why start with the most specific parts?  If you don't, you'll have to write more.  Suppose you just write about "academic interests" for USC.  Good job.  

Now you re-read the other prompts and realize the Stanford prompt asks you to discuss an idea or experience, and the Cornell prompt asks you to explain why your intellectual interest excites you.  Oops.  Now you have to write a new paragraph.  

You would have avoided this problem if you had written a paragraph about 1) an idea that's important to your intellectual development, 2) how that idea affected your intellectual development, and 3) why that idea excites you.  The paragraph is more specific than what the USC prompt requires, but it's still responsive.  And it's only one paragraph.  So remember, if your goal is to save time, you have to write to the specific part of the prompt (idea/excitement), not the general one (interest).

Step #5:  Write the longest prompt first.

You don't have to do it this way, but I think it's easier.  Start by writing something long and specific.  Then cut out extra parts to make it shorter to fit the space limit.  If I had to answer the three prompts above, I'd do the intellectual interest part of the Cornell essay first by talking about idea-evolution-excitement.  Then for the USC prompt, I'd pare it down to idea; for the Stanford prompt, I'd shave it down to just idea-evolution.  Once I finish the Cornell intellectual paragraph, I'm writing downhill because I can just slice out the extra material that doesn't fit the USC and Stanford prompts.  If I write the less complex USC prompt first, then I'm writing uphill because I have to add more specific stuff to answer the Cornell and Stanford prompts (evolution, excitement).  Write downhill!

Good luck writing!

Jon

Jon Perkins holds a B.A. in English from Stanford University and a J.D. from Harvard Law School. He helps students with their college, law school, and medical school applications.