Why Your Essay Needs an Emoticon

Not literally. Figuratively. What I'm getting at is this:

What expression are you trying to put on your reader's face?

That expression is your essay's emoticon. Sometimes, it isn't easy to figure out. Here's a conversation that gets repeated over and over:

Me: What do you want the reader to feel? Student: I want the reader to know...

But I didn't ask about what the reader should know. I asked about what the reader should feel. That's harder but also more important. If your reader feels nothing after reading your essay, you have failed to connect.

When I'm helping a student figure out her essay's emoticon, I usually start with two questions.

Question #1: What was a time when you had a strong feeling?

Your answer is a good clue about what you want your reader to feel. We all like it when someone else feels what we went through.

Look at the question again. It asks about a "time." The smaller that measure of time, the easier you'll find it to write about. 500 words isn't enough space to cover years. If you try, you'll end up giving a 30,000-foot airplane view of your life, a quick flyover of a too-vast landscape. Think seconds or minutes, not weeks or years. Think about a thin slice of time you can place under a microscope and examine in detail.

The feeling you choose for your seconds or minutes could be positive - joy, excitement, relief - or negative - fear, disappointment, shame. Anything. Whatever feeling you choose is your essay's emoticon.

Question #2: What was going on around you?

Think about your slice of time, the one you're going to put under the microscope. Now all you have to do is apply two sophisticated techniques you learned in elementary school. First, ask, "Who, what, where, when, why?" Hooray for the 5 Ws. Second, ask, "What did I see, hear, smell, taste, and touch?" Hooray for the 5 senses. When you answer all these questions, the reader can start to see the world from your perspective.

This Is "Showing"

"Showing" means giving the audience raw sensory data to interpret. "Telling" means giving the reader an interpretation of that data. For example, when you watch Game of Thrones, you are experiencing "showing" because you are watching the characters and interpreting their actions and motives for yourself. But when you miss an episode and your friend tries to catch you up, you are experiencing "telling" because you are getting his interpretation, not the raw data.

And of course, though you appreciate your friend's effort, you'd much rather see the episode for yourself. Your reader would also much rather be shown than told.

When you show - by giving the reader the 5Ws and the 5 senses - the reader enters your head and sees what you saw, hears what you heard. Walking in your shoes to get your perspective allows the reader to connect with you.

Final Thoughts

Before you write, at least think about your essay's emoticon: what you want your reader to feel. Start by thinking of some moments when you had strong feelings. Continue by writing out the 5Ws and the 5 senses for those moments. That's one approach for connecting with your reader.

Good luck writing!

Jon

Jon Perkins holds a B.A. in English from Stanford University and a J.D. from Harvard Law School. He helps students with their college, law school, and medical school applications.

3 Steps to Writing the "Why College X?" Essay

Step 1: Find the College's Buzzwords

Interdisciplinary. Teamwork. Intellectual Curiosity. Every college uses buzzwords to describe why it's special. You have to find these buzzwords. They're your clues into what a college values. Look at the undergraduate admission website. Look at the school's mission statement. Make a list of the words that seem to pop up over and over. When you speak someone's native language, you are showing that person respect. Colleges are no different. They want to know you care enough to speak their language.

Step 2: Match Your Experiences to Buzzwords

List some of your major experiences, including any academic interests. Look back at your list of buzzwords. Ask yourself which experiences match with which buzzwords. If the buzzword is "interdisciplinary," then list that research project you did about the intersection of art and biology. If you write about buzzwords without connecting them to your experiences, then it just seems like you're making stuff up. Bad move.

Step 3: Research the College's Opportunities

Any college considering your application wants to know it's not wasting a space on you. That's why you need to explain how you will take advantage of the college's opportunities. What classes or seminars interest you? What research opportunities get you excited? What internships sound cool? Show the college that you understand where you might find your niche.

Bring It All Together

Don't settle for platitudes in the "Why College X?" essay. This is not the place to talk about the school's great reputation or beautiful campus. Those kinds of remarks are doubly generic; any applicant could make them, and they could apply to any school.

A good "Why College X?" essay, like most application essays, connects your past to your future. You want to write a bridge between your experiences - your past - and the college's opportunities - your future. And you want to adorn this bridge with a couple buzzwords to show that you've done your homework. At the end of your essay, your reader should feel confident that attending College X is the natural next step for you.

Good luck writing!

Jon

Jon Perkins holds a B.A. in English from Stanford University and a J.D. from Harvard Law School. He helps students with their college, law school, and medical school applications.

One Way to Develop Your Essay Topic

What is luminol?

If you have ever watched CSI or any other crime drama, you've probably seen luminol. The detective suspects there is blood at the crime scene. To test her hunch, she sprays the area with luminol. Luminol reacts with the iron in blood to give off an eerie blue glow.

You're the detective.

When you first think of a possible topic, you're standing in the detective's shoes. You have a hunch you're on the right track to a good essay, but you need a way to confirm. If only there were essay luminol, something you could use to test your topic to see whether it's the real thing or just a false lead.

Essay Luminol

My version of essay luminol is a series of 7 areas you can explore about your topic. If you find you have a lot to say about most of these questions, that's a good sign. If not, then maybe you need to keep looking. OK, here we go:

1. Images. When you think of your topic, what images come to mind? Think of some important moments related to your topic, and consider what you saw during those moments. Who, what, where. To take it a step further, does any of these images seem like ones that might not be obvious to other people writing about the same topic? If I'm writing about soccer, then yes, the soccer ball is an image, but it's an obvious image that will occur to most people writing soccer essays. The old rag I use to polish my old-school Copas is maybe less obvious. Ideally, you'll find at least one unique image relating to your topic.
2. Desires. This will not be the first or last time I tell you that good characters want things. If you don't want anything, then I'm not sure why I should care about what you're saying. As you think about your topic, what did you want? It might be something abstract, like a quantum of solace, if that is even the correct measure of solace. Or it might be something concrete, like potato chips and french onion dip. And you might discover that your desire changes - you start out wanting one thing, like chips and dip, and then you realize what you really want is solace. Look for at least one desire to move your story.
3. Words. Most likely, your involvement with your topic did not occur in pure solitude. You interacted with other people. One way to develop your topic is to consider your conversations with those other people. Was there something you said that you remember? Something someone else said? Was there a misunderstanding, disagreement, or other conflict? Some words that evoked a strong response from you? Those are the types of words that might help you discover why this topic is important to you.
4. Actions. When I was in college, I had a conversation with my grandmother about religion the importance of beliefs versus the importance of actions. I dared to suggest to Gramy that belief mattered more than actions. She just looked at me and said, "Jonathan, if what you do in this world isn't important, then I don't know what is." Sentences starting with "Jonathan" usually indicate rebuke from some loved one, and this was no exception. But the point here is that what you do matters. When you're talking about your topic, it can't all be in your head. You have to talk about what you did and what the people around you did.
5. Obstacles. Yes, here we are at obstacles again. If you think about your favorite book or movie, you'll probably have to concede that your favorite characters face obstacles. Not only that, but these obstacles probably made your favorite characters into the people you love. An obstacle could be a thing, a person, or even a personality flaw. What is the mountain blocking your path? Who is your Voldemort? What is your Achilles' heel? Think about what stood between you and your desire.
6. Values. If colleges don't read your essay, they'll know your GPA and your classes. They'll know your SAT and other scores. They'll know from your activities list how you spent your time. But they will have no idea what type of person you are. So if there's a value that matters to you, the essay is your chance to share it. If you don't tell the colleges that you're all about congruence, confidence, or whatever, they'll have no idea, and you'll have missed your chance. Think about what values you learned through your topic. Even better, think about how what you actually learned differed from what you expected to learn. And think about what you have yet to learn, too. Your essay doesn't have to end with you achieving perfection.
7. Changes. Just remember back to when your parents read you The Very Hungry Caterpillar. That gluttonous caterpillar doesn't just stay a caterpillar. He transforms into a butterfly. You don't need to undergo a complete transformation, but you need to take one step toward becoming someone better. If you're telling me a story and you're the same at the end as you were at the beginning, then again, I don't really care. I want to know how you grew from your experience. By the way, this transformation is not just mental. A one-sentence statement in your conclusion like "I learned X" isn't going to cut it. A real transformation evidences itself through action. So think about how your attitude changed, how your actions changed, and also how your goals changed. Those are all aspects of transformation.

If you have a topic in mind, try writing a few sentences about each of these 7 areas. That will give you a fast indication of whether you've detected the makings of a good story. Not as fast as luminol, but still effective.

Good luck writing!

Jon

Jon Perkins holds a B.A. in English from Stanford University and a J.D. from Harvard Law School. He helps students with their college, law school, and medical school applications.

One Way to Write Your Introduction Paragraph

3 Introduction Ingredients: Observation, Desire, and Obstacle

There's no single recipe for your introduction, but that doesn't mean I can't give you an ingredients list. Cook to taste.

To belabor an already belabored point, the function of the introduction paragraph is to whet your reader's appetite. To accomplish that goal, you might consider mixing these three ingredients:

• Observation. By observation, I mean anything you notice about the people, places, things, or ideas around you. This is your commentary on a noun. For example: "I live under a mild yet inconvenient curse. Whichever line I stand in is always the longest." (This is 100% true.)
• Desire. Good characters don't just observe things. They want things, too. If you have a plan, a goal, or a mission, then think about mentioning it in the intro. For example: "Normally my curse wouldn't bother me, but I was in a hurry to buy my two blocks of ice. If I didn't make it home with those blocks of ice by 10:00, then [redacted]."
• Obstacle. A story about me buying something might not be that interesting. That's where obstacles can help. For example: "Just as I got to the checkout lane, the customer in front of me pulled out a sheaf of coupons and asked the cashier to double-check the discount on the 72 tubes of toothpaste she was purchasing. When the apocalypse came, at least her teeth would be white and sparkling. 9:53. My smile was gone. I wasn't going to make it."

Yes, I'm sure you can do better. But the point is to get started. Write about your observation, desire, and obstacle.

Mixing the Ingredients

But in what order should you write about observation, desire, and obstacle? It doesn't matter. Start with whatever, and then hit the next one. That's why the diagram has double arrows between each pair of ingredients - you can start anywhere and go whatever direction you choose. I know, really clever.

To put it another way, you can mix these ingredients into an intro in exactly 6 sequences:

1. Observation → Desire → Obstacle
2. Desire → Obstacle → Observation
3. Obstacle → Observation → Desire
4. Observation → Obstacle → Desire
5. Desire → Observation → Obstacle
6. Obstacle → Desire → Observation

It's not a secret formula, but if you're trying to figure out how to start writing about your topic, maybe one of these combos will help you get un-stuck.

Good luck writing!

Jon

Jon Perkins holds a B.A. in English from Stanford University and a J.D. from Harvard Law School. He helps students with their college, law school, and medical school applications.

Don't Drive the Desert Bus

Awesome. Here's part of Wikipedia's description of the Desert Bus video game:

The objective of the game is to drive a bus from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada in real time at a maximum speed of 45 mph...The bus contains no passengers, there is little scenery (an occasional rock or stop sign will appear at the side of the road), and there is no traffic. The road between Tucson and Las Vegas is completely straight.

That sounds just like essays I endure. The student is taking me somewhere, but I don't know why. There is nothing memorable to see along the way. When I arrive at my destination, everything still looks the same as when I started. The essay is a desert bus.

Before you start writing me onto your desert bus, ask yourself these 3 questions:

1. Why are you driving the bus? Tell me what happened to make you want to take the wheel. Maybe something shook you up. Something angered you. Something humbled you. Something enlightened you. Whatever it is, something triggered your decision. You didn't just wake up on the bus. You decided to drive it. Tell me what motivated you.
2. What happened on your trip? Maybe you encountered an obstacle, like your car breaking down. Maybe you faced an opponent, like a drunk driver cutting you off doing 85. Maybe you failed at something, like not remembering your candy bar would melt in the summer heat, leaving you with nothing to eat unless you squeezed it out of the wrapper like toothpaste (fun!). Don't drive me down a straight road where nothing happens. Tell me about that one time that, dude, you're never going to believe this, but...
3. How did your trip change you? After you reached your destination, then what? And so what? How did the trip shape you? Did you realize something along the way? But wait - don't end your essay with that lesson learned. Keep going. Tell me how you applied the lesson. Applying the lesson is proof that your trip transformed you. That's what I want to hear about.

Maybe you can't drive a party bus. But at least step off the desert bus.

Good luck writing!

Jon

Jon Perkins holds a B.A. in English from Stanford University and a J.D. from Harvard Law School. He helps students with their college, law school, and medical school applications.