5 Application Essay Tips from Amelia Baxter-Stoltzfus

Application Essay Tips from This I Believe

Yesterday, one of my sisters suggested I look at the This I Believe essay series for application essay tips. Today's application essay tips come from Amelia Baxter-Stoltzfus's essay entitled "Returning to What's Natural." She wrote it while in high school, and you can write a great essay, too!

Application Essay Tips Courtesy of Amelia Baxter-Stoltzfus

What application essay tips can we learn from Ms. Baxter-Stoltzfus's essay? Here are five to consider:

Application Essay Tips | Tip #1: Use repetition.

Repetition gives an essay (or a speech) rhythm. To see how, look at repetition of the phrases "I believe..." and "The kind..." in the first paragraph, or "Maybe..." in the third paragraph. And if you're not convinced that repetition makes the essay sound more natural, listen to the repetition when the author reads it aloud.

Application Essay Tips | Tip #2: Use an image.

Sure, the writer could have discussed the tension between change and permanence without using an image. But does using the image of semi-permanent hair dye make her discussion more vivid? Without question, and for two reasons.

First, the image is authentic; it clearly relates to her actual experience dying her hair in shades that fade after 20 to 26 washes. Second, it's symbolic; her feelings about semi-permanent hair-dye reflect her acknowledgment of the conflict between dependence and independence. A good image comes from your experience and lets you make a point about life.

Application Essay Tips | Tip #3: Use personal idioms.

We often have personal idioms, unusual turns of phrase that hold significant meanings for us. These are the phrases we use to talk to ourselves. One person I met confided that she referred to anyone in her life who wasn't a family member or friend as an "extra." Revealing, though perhaps not advantageous for an admission essay. My favorite family idiom is "slapping on windshields," which, by the way, is something you do not want to be caught doing. When I tried to tell my dad my job was loading the dishwasher, not cleaning the counters, he set me straight. I needed to be someone who cared about the end result, like getting the kitchen clean or building a quality automobile, not someone who cared only about his small part of the process, like loading the dishwasher or "slapping on windshields" on the assembly line. Message received! Anyhow, in her essay, Ms. Baxter-Stoltzfus introduces the personal idiom "Big Bads," meaning all the big bad things out in the world.

Using a personal idiom - and setting it apart with capitalization or quotation marks - is a simple, effective technique for describing a common topic in a unique way. And that's much better than describing a unique topic (if such a topic even exists) in a common way. If you can identify a personal idiom, you'll have a ready-made way of distinguishing your essay.

Application Essay Tips | Tip #4: Use alliteration.

For those who dozed off in English class, alliteration is the repetition of sounds. Alliteration won't single-handedly transform your essay, but it will make your style more sophisticated. Sophistication matters because your application essay is a writing sample. Ms. Baxter-Stoltzfus uses alliteration when she writes, "...complex, complete..." and, "We can't be toddlers or teenagers forever..." Alliteration with two or three words is within anyone's ability. More than that and you start to sound ridiculous.

Application Essay Tips | Tip #5: Write a conclusion that "goes beyond."

Too often, conclusions settle for repeating the introduction's main point instead of extending it. Ms. Baxter-Stoltzfus's conclusion avoids this mistake. Her essay starts with a statement of belief in semi-permanent hair dye, but it ends with a clarification of her openness to permanent change: "So I do believe in permanent change, just not for my hair." When you reserve a new insight for the conclusion, you can impress the reader. Don't accept a lazy conclusion that repeats what you've already said!

Ms. Baxter-Stoltzfus's essay suggests several application essay tips you can easily put to work in your application essay. If you liked today's application essay tips, please recommend them to your friends. Thank you!

Jon

Jonathan M. Perkins Private College Counselor Call/Text: 424 646 3828 Email: jon@essaywise.com

5 Application Essay Tips from Actor Gabriel Davis

Application Essay Tips from an Actor

The application essay is a 500-word monologue. It's a mini-mini-drama. That's why for today's application essay tips, we're turning to actor Gabriel Davis's guide for monologue writing.

Monologue Writing 101 and 5 Application Essay Tips

What application essay tips can we learn from Davis's monologue pointers? Here are five to consider:

Application Essay Tips | Tip #1: Show a strong desire.

Desire sets up conflict, and conflict sets up a good story. This suggestion is like Stanton's advice to find your spine.

Application Essay Tips | Tip #2: Show what's at stake.

You probably won't care if I tell you I'm going to the store to buy orange juice. But if I tell you I have to buy orange juice within the next ten minutes to avoid going into diabetic shock, then you'll care. I hope. Never assume your reader cares about you; one of your tasks is to make her care by showing what's at stake.

Application Essay Tips | Tip #3: Hook the reader.

In an application essay, you have two sentences to win the the reader's attention. Your opening lines determine whether the reader continues out of enthusiasm or obligation. Your opening line might be what Davis calls a headline hook - a short summary of your story - or what he calls an argument hook - something you believe or want the reader to believe. Or your hook could be a quotation that introduces a dramatic moment (not a quotation from a famous person!) or a mysterious statement that pricks the reader's curiosity.

Application Essay Tips | Tip #4: Engage the senses.

I love this point. Too many application essays I read appeal to exactly zero of the five senses. Sometimes, an essay will have an image (like an artichoke) that appeals to the sense of sight. But rarely will an essay appeal to other senses. Appealing to one or two of the senses (let's not go overboard!) is a great way to differentiate your essay.

Application Essay Tips | Tip #5: Overcome conflict.

Conflict is the struggle between opposing forces. Conflict can be internal (you v. yourself) or external (you v. someone else). Why does overcoming conflict make for a good essay? When write about overcoming conflict, you demonstrate the ability to engage in a new experience, reflect on its significance, and learn from it. That's the type of active, thoughtful student colleges want.

Remember, your application essay is a dramatic story, not an academic paper. That's why we can learn from Davis's monologue pointers. If you liked today's application essay tips, please recommend them to your friends. Thank you!

Jon

Jon Perkins holds a B.A. in English from Stanford University and a J.D. from Harvard Law School. He helps students with their college, law school, and medical school applications.

6 Application Essay Tips from Filmmaker Andrew Stanton

Application Essay Tips from a Filmmaker

Why not learn application essay tips from a filmmaker? After all, an application essay, like a film, is a story. In this presentation, Andrew Stanton (Toy Story, WALL-E) gives some storytelling pointers.

6 Application Essay Tips

What are Stanton's application essay tips? Here are six to consider:

Application Essay Tips | Tip #1: Storytelling is like joke-telling, so know your punchline.

This application essay tip is simple. Figure out your destination before you start driving. Before you start writing, you have to know what your main point is.

Application Essay Tips | Tip #2: Make the reader care.

Sometimes, students overlook this application essay tip because they assume the reader will automatically care about what they have to say. Instead, students should assume an apathetic reader, someone who will ask, “So what?” Remember, an admission officer reads dozens of essays a day and hundreds over the course of a season, and she will only spend a couple minutes reading your essay. If you don't give her a reason to care about you, she probably won't.

Application Essay Tips | Tip #3: Make the reader work.

This application essay tip is somewhat at odds with our normal writing goal, which is to make the reader's life easy by being clear. But Stanton's point is that the absence of information engages the reader because it forces her to puzzle out what’s going on. As Stanton says, “Don’t give [the audience] four, give them two plus two.” Withholding information to make the reader work is especially effective in the introduction, where you can use incomplete information to provoke the reader's natural inclination to figure out what's going on.

Application Essay Tips | Tip #4: Find your spine.

This application essay tip might seem a bit odd, but by spine, Stanton means a character’s dominant, unconscious goal. Again, you have to remember that you're not just summarizing your activities in the application essay; you're summarizing who you are. Think of yourself as a character. What drives you? An admission essay that fails to answer this question probably isn't personal enough.

Application Essay Tips | Tip #5: "Drama is anticipation mingled with uncertainty.”

This application essay tip seems to me like a a summary of points #2 and #3. Anticipation implies you've made the reader care; she wants to know what happens next. Uncertainty means you're making the reader work; the next part of the story isn't obvious.

Application Essay Tips | Tip #6: Use what you know - capture a truth from your experience.

This is another helpful application tip. Write what you know. You don't need to write about an exotic topic (if there is such a thing) to be profound. Here’s the thing. The most exotic topic is you. It’s not The Big Game, The Death of a Relative, or That Trip to an Impoverished Country. It’s you. Focusing on your values and your take on life - and on the circumstances that gave rise to that perspective - is a great starting place for the essay.

As you watch Stanton, study how he maintains your interest. As you watch his presentation, I challenge you to see what other application essay tips you can glean. Note what Stanton does to engage the audience, and consider whether you can employ any of those techniques. From what I noticed, he shares unexpected punchlines about goats, pithy quotations about drama, examples from his movies, and stories about his past. As you enjoy a story - whether in a book or on TV or wherever - get in the habit of asking yourself, “Why do I like this?” or “Why do I hate this?” The more you understand what techniques a good storyteller uses, the better your application essays will be.

If you liked today's application essay tips, please recommend them to your friends. Thank you!

Jon

Jon Perkins holds a B.A. in English from Stanford University and a J.D. from Harvard Law School. He helps students with their college, law school, and medical school applications.